Film Review: Murder on the Orient Express (2017) **SPOILERS**

https://i0.wp.com/media2.slashfilm.com/slashfilm/wp/wp-content/images/murder-on-the-orient-express-review.jpgI would just like to start by saying that I had zero desire to see this film ever, let alone in the theaters. But, I thought it might be nice for the hubs if we went and saw a movie he wanted to see without me bellyaching or being like “bruh, have fun with your friends.”  So here we are talking about the worst movie I’ve paid to see in a long, long time.

So bad, that the only reasonable explanation for so many past life A-listers appearing is that they are all friends & were high af watching the original and decided they wanted to remake it for kicks. The reason I say this is because, as a mystery it’s not really that mysterious after the third or fourth interview. Perhaps the plot is better managed in the book (or the ’74 film that I haven’t seen), but here it is god awful. You mean to tell me that a WORLD RENOWNED investigator doesn’t realize everyone is in on it after finding out that three or four people are? And if they are all in on it together, why do they ALL admit to knowing the same fucking family of people that they are avenging. Is Agatha Christie actually just making a comment on how stupid people are? lol

So if you like old style, dumb mysteries (no judgement) then you might enjoy this remake. It definitely comes off cinematically like a shinier version of an older film.

1/5

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Film Review: Murder on the Orient Express (2017) **SPOILERS**